The curious paradox is that when I accept myself, just as I am, then I can change.
Carl Rogers
The Formal Stuff..
Graduated with a BA (hons) degree in Person-Centred Counselling and the Psychotherapeutic Relationship from University of Warwick (Level 6 equiv.). I am a registered member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) and fully insured. I have a knowledge and truth hungry monotropic mind and have continued my training and learning in areas of therapy and neuroscience including Somatic Trauma Therapy, Neurodivergent Trauma (Trauma Geek) Neuroplasticity & Trauma, and various Nervous System Theories , including lots within polyvagal theory.
The focus in psychotherapy training is often the mind with no consideration of what trauma does to the body. For me, you can not separate mind from body. It forms an integral part of my practice to understand the effects on the mind, body systems, physicality, and psychology. I also read, listen, and strive to understand the complexities of capitalism and social structures that continue to promote ableism and stigmatise the disabled community and other intersectionalities. Again, understanding mind and body isn’t enough if you can not understand the world that the mind and body are constricted and triggered by.
My practice has taken me across private and public sectors, working with an array of intersectionalities, neurotypes, and complex trauma. As well as my private clients, I also head up the counselling service at Autistic Parents UK (https://www.autisticparentsuk.org). I specialise in working with neurodivergent clients who are either diagnosed, self-discovered, or exploring. I offer specific psychoeducational sessions for people to better understand their nervous system, ways of being, triggers, glimmers etc all in a trauma informed way.
I have developed and presented lectures and webinars to trainee therapists, wellbeing practitioners, and mental health professionals at the University of Warwick, Charities, and Academies. I specialise in education around understanding Autism from the Autistic perspective, working therapeutically with neurodivergent folk, understanding the neurodivergent nervous system, Autistic burnout in parents, and embodying neuro-affirming practice.
A Divergent Approach
I am neurodivergent (Autistic, Dyspraxic & Synaesthetic) with a mixed divergent and typical family household. Being neurodivergent in a generally misunderstanding and unaccepting world, certainly has its challenges. Yet, I also believe it has strengthened my offering as a therapist and psychoeducator to all neurotypes. I don’t presume or expect a set way of being, or a set journey or goal of ‘happiness’. I strive to constantly learn and evolve but learn from authentic lived experience.
We all have wondrous differences, the challenges come when we are stigmatised for these differences and furthermore, unconsciously develop ways to push down and hide these differences, pulling us from our authentic selves.
Some of my clients prefer to type, some draw, some sing or share music, and some make up words for emotions because our current language feels inaccurate or confining. I see my role as creating a validating enabling space, to help you discover and shake off the ‘shame dust’ and let you be you. A lot of work usually involves understanding the unique nervous system, understanding the complex shame and trauma that goes with being neurodivergent in a neuronormative world, genuinely authentically validating people’s experiences and ways of being, sharing knowledge and insight. Whether that’s research or others lived experiences - or sometimes my own if it is relevant and feels helpful to do so.
I might not look or sound like a ‘typical’ therapist. I swear, I voice injustice, I don’t set goals or homework, I write about my own shame dust in my blog and I feel it is important for me as the therapist or educator to be genuinely authentic. To be absolutely real, to be fully present, to enable an equal meeting of minds. I know from experience what a life time of not being heard, listened to, ignored, not believed can mean for us. It hurts. My work is often aimed at looking at that hurt and changing the narrative, feeling what it is like to be heard, understood and believed.
The informal stuff..
As a late-discovered neurodivergent cis female, it has taken some time, research and validating therapy to uncover and ‘unlayer’ the real me. Awareness is one thing, but genuine acceptance of your authentic self is quite another! I found great solace in the autistic community, my work with Autistic Parents UK (APUK), and the understanding I gained through working with, reading, and listening to authentic lived experience neurodivergent professionals, bloggers, writers, speakers, researchers. I adore delving into neurodivergent led research.
Outside of my work, I home-educate my two children, a journey which has further opened the doors of ‘divergent to the norm’. Woodlands or the sea are my happy place. I love being absorbed in music, either listening or playing. Music of all genres, has always and continues to be a great healer and regulator for me.
I want you to know that I am in no way a finished article. I am not an expert in either my way of being, or yours. If anyone says they are an ‘expert’ of anything I get rather annoyed! Because it constricts us to learn anything new. I am learning, constantly curious, offering validation, connection, affirmation. Offering an enabling place for you to explore what it means just to be you.
Picture of me, a white female with brown and grey strands hair, with a long fringe. lI am wearing my yellow raincoat. In the background it is a typical grey cloudy day with a collection of brown and black cows from a nearby farm. Being outdoors and walking is often a daily need of mine. I enjoy looking for funghi, trees, plants as well as bird spotting and listening.
“Neurodiversity is about all of us — neurotypical and neurodivergent. Neuromajority and neurominority. Those who experience the world in ways that are more similar to those around them, and those who have less similar experiences. And just like with biodiversity signalling rich healthy environments, different ways of being enrich us all, gives us access to different ways of understanding the world and ourselves”
(Sonny Hallett).